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Post by andi ! on Dec 21, 2008 16:46:06 GMT -5
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[/size] i shed what escape my fiction provided ,
i lived a lifetime inside of my shelter
thought it about time to see outside it[/center][/font] Andrea hated to say it. Stewart had been home to her for so long, and it seemed that everyone she would ever need was there. She was comfortable there. She made sense there. But she was scared out of her mind to go back.
She was scared easily, you could say. From big dogs to heights to the dark, the most childish things would send a shiver down her spine, leave her clutching onto the snowman stuffed animal from her childhood, closing her eyes and waiting for the monsters from her imagination to go away. But they never did. She was immature, childish enough that no matter how tightly she clamped her eyes shut, no matter how many times she told herself that her fears were irrational, they were still there. The monsters in her closet, lurking under her bed. The tall heights that seemed to grow taller as she looked down. The demons that possessed dogs over a foot and a half tall. The personal demons that haunted the halls of Stewart, stalking her, their prey. And it didn’t seem that they were ready to let her go just yet.
Her last few months at Stewart had not been good ones. She hadn’t been herself anymore. Thinking back on it now, she was frightened by how quickly and easily this other person had taken her over, how carelessly she had given herself over to this darker side of herself she had never acknowledged. Could that happen again? Was it Stewart that brought that on? The environment that had fed her creativity, her imagination, had lent her friends and comfort… Could it so easily evolve into an oppressive nation again, pushing her further into herself until it drove her mad? If it could stamp out her personality so readily once, what was to stop it from doing it again?
She had left Stewart a little more than halfway through her freshman year. Her mother had pulled her out and sent her to public school for the rest of the year, and things had gotten miraculously better. Within weeks, she was her normal, happy self all over again. And the time away from Stewart helped her more than she would have thought possible. The months trying to fit back into a school she hadn’t been to in years made her more social, more confident. And, to tackle the self-doubt that had ebbed from the corners of her mind, eroding her peacefully level self-esteem, she had gotten more into sports and shed a few pounds. She had gotten a rather drastic haircut. She was the new and improved Andrea; Andrea 2.0.
But would traveling back in time, back to Stewart, undo that? She liked how she was now, and reverting back into the shell of herself that she had fallen into months ago would be too painful to bear. So had never been a very emotionally strong person. She was weak, and she knew it. She cried easily, couldn’t take being insulted or even slighted, was easily offended. But she couldn’t be that anymore; she had to persevere. And she would. She had gotten better at that over the past year. Her self-confidence, before at a record-breaking low, had escalated a bit, and she was determined to not let anyone so easily control her emotions. She was going to be herself, she decided, and not let anyone else mess with that. Not now, not ever.
She didn’t know how well this plan would hold up, though, when she saw Ben. If she saw Ben, because she was currently doing her best to avoid him. It was working well so far – her whole first day back had been totally Roberts-free. She wanted to track down Jeremy, though. And Anne. And Dasha. And Curly, if she was still around. She didn’t want it to be like she had never left, didn’t want to sink back into the rhythm of her old life here. But some carry-over, like her friends, would be nice. She didn’t want to totally start over.
But she wasn’t dwelling on that too much; not now, at least. She had dropped off all of her stuff in her new dormitory, just down the hall from her old one, though she had yet to unpack. No need to do that now, she had reasoned. No, she could reacquaint herself with Stewart first. So, bouncy as ever, she had bounded to the cafeteria, purchased some candy, chips, and a Diet Coke (though she had somewhat tamed her wild junk food-addiction) and set off outside, as yet unaware of her final destination.
Andrea wound up at the sports field, and it seemed as good a location as any. Never being much of a beachy sort, she had been headed for somewhere with a bit more greenery, like the lake or the courtyard. And it didn’t get much more grassy than the field. She walked to the center of the large field, directly between the two goal posts, one of which had toppled over in a heavy thunderstorm a few nights ago and had yet to be set back on its feet. The grass was still dewy, but she didn’t mind, not in the slightest. Beaming to herself, she dropped the tote-like beach bag she had grabbed onto the neatly cut greenery and lowered to her knees next to it. She quickly removed the large plastic bottle of Diet Coke, unscrewed the red top and took a long, greedy sip.
A year ago, Andrea in shorts was a rare occurrence. She had fat thighs, she was convinced. And thus, shorts were more or less out. But Andrea 2.0 wouldn’t be restricted by such trivial matters. First of all, she had lost a bit of weight. And second of all, she didn’t care all that much. So she wore jean shorts and thin black flip-flops. Her teal-ish green tee-shirt had the words “LIVE LOVE LAUGH” printed across it in bold letters, the first and last in a shiny silver and the second in a bright pink matching the headband in her hair. She blew her bangs out of her eyes as she laid back, stretching out across the damp grass. The definition of a perfect moment.[/blockquote][/font][/color][/size] |
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Post by _bjscw on Dec 21, 2008 18:54:33 GMT -5
The Roberts' dormitory had a lovely view of the sports' field this year. Most of the boys at Stewart would consider this a positive thing - this way, neither of the twins would have to purchase a ticket to a school game again. They could simply watch from their room! Unfortunately, Jeremy didn't exactly look at it in this light. Sports held no interest to the boy, and the view actually bothered him at times. Especially the damn goal posts that had not been pushed back up after the thunderstorm a few nights ago.
Being the slight perfectionist, the goal posts had annoyed him deeply the past few days. Jeremy would sit at his desk attempting to do his work and would end up staring at them, wishing they would magically lift up and place themselves in their correct positions again. Finally, he had enough of it. Today, he planned to go down there and push them back up himself. After all, it was just getting ridiculous.
So now, Jeremy found himself traveling towards the sports field, heading towards the first goal post with a look of determination in his eyes. The sun beat down heavily on him, and he was grateful that along with his jeans he had opted to just wear one of Ben's white wife beaters. Maybe it made him look like a douche bag, but right now, his looks weren't what mattered. Fixing the goal posts did.
And then he passed by a pretty girl, lying down in the grass and drinking a diet Coke. He wouldn't have thought twice about it, if it weren't for the fact that she looked so familiar. Jeremy found himself slowing down to a stop, and squinting his eyes at her, trying to get a better look. Suddenly, things clicked.
"Andrea?!" He exclaimed, whipping around to face her fully.
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Post by andi ! on Dec 21, 2008 20:59:59 GMT -5
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[/size] i shed what escape my fiction provided ,
i lived a lifetime inside of my shelter
thought it about time to see outside it[/center][/font]
Andrea exhaled, shifting in the lush carpet of grass, getting a bit more comfortable. She had brought her current book, 'Salem's Lot, as well as her iPod... but she was far too comfortable at the moment to think of sitting up, rooting through her mess of a bag, only to find herself some distraction from just lying in the grass. So instead, she closed her eyes. Sure, it wasn't productive, and she wasn't doing anything... But maybe she didn't always have to be doing something. Maybe she could just relax without having to find something to keep her brain spinning, like she always did. She was the type of person to always keep busy, always be thinking, always be doing something. Even when she was just listening to music, she was either trying to learn the lyrics or she already knew them, in which case she was singing them to herself, either audibly or not.
Regardless, she realized then as she laid in the grass that, save for when she was asleep, she was never really not doing anything. Even now, as she pushed her flip flops off of her feet and pushed her toes into the grass, her mind was wandering, as it always was. Frowning slightly, she set at trying to clear her mind, think of nothing. It was far harder a task than she expected. Not thinking was the hardest thing she had ever tried to do, and as of yet, one of the few things she didn't see any chance of overcoming in the near future. That, and Physics.
But laying in the grass with your eyes closed, thinking about not thinking, tends to leave one distracted. (Counter intuitive? I think yes.) Because of this preoccupation with lack of occupation, Andrea was totally oblivious to the scantily clad (ha) boy walking onto the field to adjust the toppled over goal posts. That is, she was, until said boy called out her name.
Surprised, Andrea opened her eyes and shot upward,s looking around for a moment, dazed. After a moment of trying to locate the source of the voice, her eyes landed on blond boy, and she nearly started hyperventilating. Then she squinted slightly, to be sure, and exhaled a sigh of relief. It was Jeremy, thank God.
A grin quickly replaced her horror-stricken face (which had lasted only a second or two, so she might have hid it well enough to fall beneath the boy's radar). "Jeremy!" she exclaimed happily, forgetting replacing her shoes and jumping to her feet. He was only a few paces past her, making the energetic bound in his direction a short one. She stopped barely before running into him. A year may have passed, but she could still tell the twins apart, a fact she was blissfully proud of. So, beaming, she had no scruples about pulling the boy into a friendly hug and letting out a faint stream of giggles.
"How are you?" she inquired after releasing him from her strangle-hold of a hug, smiling hugely.
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Post by _bjscw on Dec 22, 2008 15:55:42 GMT -5
For a moment, Jeremy thought the girl might not have been Andrea; how embarrassing it would be to call out her name and find out it wasn't even her! But he was relieved when the delighted look mimicked upon her face, and she got up to come and greet him. He beamed stupidly as she pulled him into a hug, and quickly he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her back. She smelled nice, Jeremy noticed. Not that she didn't ever smell nice - it was just Jeremy paid more attention to details now.
"I'm... I'm good," He said, feigning a smile and deciding he wasn't going to rant about Nina. Nobody wanted to hear about that, and Andrea was probably the last person he should talk to about it anyway. Jeremy still winced every time he thought about how he completely ruined their relationship by cheating on her.
"What about you? Where did you go last year, you like... disappeared halfway through!" He exclaimed, surprised he even managed to realize those types of things in his state of no social life.
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Post by andi ! on Dec 22, 2008 16:24:52 GMT -5
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[/size] i shed what escape my fiction provided ,
i lived a lifetime inside of my shelter
thought it about time to see outside it[/center][/font] "I'm... I'm good."
Andrea frowned slightly, pursing her lips. The words were all well enough, but the pause was a loaded one, and left her... curious. Not that she doubted his honesty, or anything like that. Because Jeremy was a decent guy, overall. But for the most part, when something really was wrong, it was masked with a response like that. Or maybe she was being silly; it just seemed that way to her.
"You can always talk to me if you need to," she assured him with a nod, meeting his eyes before letting her lips curve upwards into a light smile. She let out a quiet laugh at his remark on her disappearance, looking downwards towards her bare feet and shrugging one shoulder. She didn't need to go on some rant about how her letters home of steadily decreasing positive outlook had worried her mother, and how after a brief visit, Betsy had decided to take Andrea home with her. Because that didn't really matter now, now did it? Not in her opinion, at least.
"My mom wanted me to come home," she answered, honestly enough, looking back up to Jeremy and offering him a smile. She pushed herself up to her tiptoes, noticing that Jeremy had gotten a bit taller. She herself had grown an astounding two inches or so, and still felt rather short in his presence (or anyone's, if we're being quite frank). She realized then that she was standing on her toes more and more frequently now, maybe because everyone around her was having similar growthspurts to her own short one, but their's were proving to be more and more drastic.
Andrea ran a tongue over her newly braceless teeth, then grinned. "What brings you out here?" she inquired, pushing her bangs to the right and out of her eyes.
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Post by _bjscw on Dec 22, 2008 16:34:11 GMT -5
Jeremy smiled lightly. That was Andrea, always offering her listening skills and help. She was such a wonderful person, and he knew he was lucky to still have her friendship after what he (and Ben now, too) had done to her. "Thanks," He said quietly with a knowing smile, but opted not to say anything more. Maybe he'd save a rant session for later. If he ever planned on talking to her about Nina, now wasn't the time anyway.
"She did? What, Stewart not good enough for a girl as smart as you?" Jeremy teased, although he truly was curious as to why her mother would pull her out. "And the goal posts brought me out here..." He added with a roll of his eyes, glancing over his shoulder at one of them. "They've been bugging me all week, the way they aren't right side up."
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Post by andi ! on Dec 22, 2008 16:42:53 GMT -5
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[/size] i shed what escape my fiction provided ,
i lived a lifetime inside of my shelter
thought it about time to see outside it[/center][/font]
Andrea simply smiled in response to his thanks; a simple, close-lipped smile quirked to the left instead of a normal toothy grin one might expect from the girl. And she let the subject drop - if he wanted to talk or needed to vent, he would. All she could do was let him know she was there if he needed her.
She giggled lightly, her smile growing. "Of course not," she laughed. "She just thought that maybe the environment was getting a little... toxic." Another one-shoulder shrug and a small smile. Surely that didn't need any elaboration. "But I'm back now, so it doesn't matter," she added with a cheery grin. There's always a positive side, if you care to look for it. This one was morepositive than negative, really: She had missed Stewart, sure, but it had worked out for the best.
"Yeah, I noticed that," Andrea replied, casting a glance over her right shoulder towards the fallen goal post, biting down on her lip lip to control her grin as she turned back to face Jeremy. It was very...him. She wouldn't be so bugged by some toppled over goal post to haul ass out of her dorm to come and fix it. She'd probably be intriguied by it, maybe keep count of how many days went by before anyone did anything about it. She loved people for their quirks, and that remark just made her grin. "I missed you," she stated, smiling warmly as she nodded towards him.
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Post by _bjscw on Dec 22, 2008 20:36:00 GMT -5
He nodded slowly, although for some reason, the goal posts didn't bother him as much as they did a few minutes ago. "I missed you too." Jeremy said, his smile still remaining intact. He would have added that Ben missed her as well, but that would probably make things awkward. Besides, he didn't really know how Ben felt lately anyway.
"Y'know," He raised an eyebrow, "I feel much taller than I used to be. I mean, I actually have to tilt my head down in order to speak to you." A grin appeared on his face. "I mean, it's either I grew or you shrank..."
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Post by andi ! on Dec 22, 2008 21:04:19 GMT -5
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[/size] i shed what escape my fiction provided ,
i lived a lifetime inside of my shelter
thought it about time to see outside it[/center][/font]
Andrea beamed back at Jeremy, tightening her ponytail thoughtlessly. He might have just been being nice, because she was never entirely sure where the two of them stood. But assuming that he was being honest, as she was apt to do, it was nice to know that someone had noticed that she had left, had cared. That had been one thing that had started bothering her when she started back at Fox Lane High School. She found herself spacing out more than usual, wondering about people at Stewart, what they were doing then. If they were thinking about her. She didn't expect them to, really. What were the odds that a given person was thinking of her at the same time she was thinking of them? That didn't bother her too much. But what did bother her was whether or not anyone thought of her at all, if she had been written off as another random disappearance (people tended to come and go from Stewart at a constant interval), or had people been worried about where she was? it was nothing to dwell on now, but she couldn't help but wonder.
She frowned as Jeremy went on about his height, narrowing her eyes into something of a glare. She fancied herself scary with this face, but her success at inspiring fear in anyone was laughable. "I got taller!" she protested stubbornly, pouting her cutest of puppy dog pouts to get Jeremy to concede to her new and imposing stature. "I was four eleven. Now I'm five feet and three quarters of an inch. Yeah. Be afraid," she warned, unable to keep the corner of her lip from twitching upwards into a smile.
Urging to prove her point, Andrea again pushed herself onto her toes, struggling to reach the highest height possible. Then she tried to make eye contact with Jeremy, but still found herself looking up. "Darn it, you're still taller than me," she muttered in an unsatisfied tone, subtly trying to overpower gravity and the laws of Physics as she hopped, as if hoping to magically hover there. But this amounted to naught, and she was left crossing her arms over her chest and reverting into a pout.
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Post by _bjscw on Dec 22, 2008 21:38:42 GMT -5
Jeremy found himself laughing at Andrea's attempts to equal up to his height. Never did he think he would be able to tease someone else for their height; after all, he certainly wasn't the tallest guy around. But considering Andrea was so short, he had all rights! And she was so amusing to watch whenever someone teased her. It was too bad she hadn't stuck around last year, otherwise she would have been the perfect friend.
Well, whatever. That was the past, and they had all of this year to rekindle their friendship.
"Hey, are you planning on doing student council again this year?"
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Post by andi ! on Dec 22, 2008 21:46:11 GMT -5
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[/size] i shed what escape my fiction provided ,
i lived a lifetime inside of my shelter
thought it about time to see outside it[/center][/font]
Andrea narrowed her eyes into her oh-so frightening glare once again as Jeremy commenced laughing at her short stature, making a stubborn sort of "humph" noise as she exhaled and fell back to her heels, now standing flat-footed. "Not cool, man," she chided him, feigning something akin to disappointment, though she wasn't entirely sure what the emotion really could be called, as she shook her head disapprovingly. She really wasn't that short. He'd just gotten taller. And he was a boy; they are, after all, genetically supposed to be taller than girls. So humph.
She perked up a bit as he brought up student council, conceding to a smile. "I think I will. I picked up an application in the office, at least," she answered. "Are you?" She could probably assume that he was from the very fact that he was asking, but one could never be too sure. But student council wouldn't be nearly as much fun without a friend in it... Hopefully, he was on it again this year.
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Post by _bjscw on Dec 23, 2008 0:18:05 GMT -5
"Yeah!" Jeremy exclaimed, probably sounding a bit too excited than he should be. After all, it was just student council - it wasn't like they had won the lottery or anything. But in Jeremy's case, it was especially good news that he now would have a companion in the group. Last year was a nightmare, dealing with all the snobby close-minded members alone. At least with Andrea in the group it might be somewhat enjoyable again.
"We can do it together, then. I think it needs some change, because last year it was completely dominated by that Hannah girl. Nobody could do anything without asking her permission first, and she hardly ever listened to anyone anyway. It sucked." He rolled his eyes.
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Post by andi ! on Dec 23, 2008 11:59:08 GMT -5
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[/size] i shed what escape my fiction provided ,
i lived a lifetime inside of my shelter
thought it about time to see outside it[/center][/font]
A grin lit up Andrea's features at Jeremy's enthusiastic reply. "I'm glad. Would've been incredibly dull without you," she answered, bouncing lightly on her toes. She nodded understandingly as he went on about Hannah, frowning slightly. Hannah hadn't seemed to like her very much. Hell, Hannah hadn't seemed to like anyone very much, but Andrea had just gotten really weird vibes from her, or something.
"It'll be much more fun this year," she assured him with a confident nod and a wide smile. "Who's president?" she asked curiously, looping her fingers absently through the belt loops of her shorts.
ooc|| ew. short. =[
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Post by _bjscw on Dec 23, 2008 16:17:50 GMT -5
"Well, someone named Eric Johnson is the senior president. But I think the rest of the grades still have to be decided. Maybe you could run again, just like our first year," He grinned, thinking back on the election of seventh grade. It had seemed so important back then, and now the whole thing felt like a joke.
"Anyways, I have tons of ideas for this year. Like, we could help the writing club reinstate the Stewart newspaper, minus the gossip column." Jeremy stuffed his hands in his pockets, hoping his rambling wasn't weirding Andrea out. Nah, she was probably used to it by now. "And the dances really need some new themes."
ooc: uh, hardly. xD
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Post by andi ! on Dec 23, 2008 16:31:28 GMT -5
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[/size] i shed what escape my fiction provided ,
i lived a lifetime inside of my shelter
thought it about time to see outside it[/center][/font]
Andrea laughed at Jeremy's suggestion, likewise grinning. "I think I'd like to just be a member of student council. Presidency is totally overrated," she answered with a giggle. She didn't care as much ash did then, and realized now that she wasn't as apt a leader as she had wanted to think she was in middle school. It wouldn't be something she was good at, and she wouldn't want the responsibility. But she did like to help out and be involved, so being a meber of student council was more than enough.
She listened to his ideas, nodding and smiling all the while. "I totally agree. On both," she replied enthusiastically. The newspaper did need to be revived, and the gossip column put to sleep. And the dances could be more interesting. "Maybe you should run for president, Jer. You're the one with all the ideas," she remarked almost flippantly, then paused. Hell, that was a good idea. She hadn't really thought it out before saying it, but now that it crossed her mind, Jeremy would make an excellent president. Her face lit up. "You totally should!" she exclaimed, now rather enthused by the idea.
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