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Post by _bjscw on Jan 3, 2009 16:04:18 GMT -5
Drawing people was not quite the easiest thing to do in the world, especially when your model couldn't stop fidgeting and moving around. Ben sat in the art room with his sketch book flat on his lap, his pencil poised and ready to mimic the figure of the girl in front of him onto the page. It was just Darcy Tabatha, a student in his art class that he had paid to sit there for an hour and let him draw her. Ben didn't know who else to ask, and he was interested in attempting to sketch her long dark hair.
However, Darcy was proving to be a terrible model, always changing her position on the stool and pulling out her cell phone to text someone. Ben tried to be polite and kindly ask her to stay still, but she didn't seem to understand that she was ruining his project.
"Darcy!" Ben exclaimed in frustration as she started to braid some of her hair together out of boredom. "Can you just hold still for like two seconds?" He stood up and tossed his drawing book onto the table, deciding to abandon the halfway finished sketch of her. She looked hesitant, before standing up as well.
"Are you finished? Can I go?" She looked eager to leave and spend the money Ben had given her on something fun or sparkly. Ben stared at her for a few seconds before waving her off with his hand.
"Fine, just forget it." He muttered, giving up on the idea altogether. Darcy smiled and hurried out of the art room, while Ben began to pace in anger. He was never going to be able to master drawing people if he couldn't even get a person to sit still for him.
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Post by asf! on Jan 3, 2009 20:37:48 GMT -5
i’m safe, up high, nothing can touch me. so why do i feel this party is over? [/color][/font][/size][/left] She didn’t know why, but for some reason painting seemed to calm her down a bit. The girl was no good at it, but she could express herself much better in finger painting than writing or actually expressing how she felt. Best of all, she could make a bunch of different marks and lines without letting anybody know what the symbolism for them was. Today, she was going to be painting to relieve stress. Sammie was determined not to feel guilty about all of this Kyle drama. The guilt was easing very slowly, but it was still there with each passing day. It was a shame she couldn’t just forget about him. After all, he had caused her more stress than she had in awhile. He had her wearing rubber bands again. She wouldn’t resort to the blade again. Sammie promised herself that every night before she went to sleep. It had officially been 52 days since she had cut. It was a long record for her, and she was excited about it.
She hadn’t started off the day on a good note. Upon awakening, Sammie had slipped on a stray piece of clothing that sent her to the floor. She landed on her ankle wrong and it had been sore all day. She wasn’t limping or anything, but it did hurt like a bitch. Sammie was angry about this ankle problem. She had taken Tylenol and anything imaginable over the counter for pain. This of course was not a good idea, because her whole world was a bit foggy now, but she’d get over it. She was going to be alone in the art room anyway, or so she thought.
Sammie had her backpack over her shoulder and a bottle of water in her hand. She didn’t want any caffeine or sugar, which was awfully odd for this usually bouncy teenage girl. She sulked into the art room just as Ben was asking Darcy to stay still. She stopped at the door, watching the two. It was an interesting little battle. The girl didn’t seem too eager to stay. She shook her head setting her backpack on the floor beside the door, and her water bottle on the table.
A few seconds passed before she slipped into the room, sitting on the stool where Darcy once sat. Sammie was sure she could sit still. With a small smile, she crossed one leg over the other, placing her hands in her lap. ”I think I can stay still, if you still want to give it a go.”
[/blockquote]
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Post by _bjscw on Jan 4, 2009 16:30:16 GMT -5
Ben hadn't noticed Sammie's entrance into the art room, so naturally it scared the shit out of him when she spoke. His head snapped in her direction and suddenly a small smile lit up his face. "Sammie! Why didn't I think of you before? Your hair has the same exact texture as Darcy's!" All his problems seemed to dissolve in a matter of a seconds. Ben snatched his sketchbook off the table and tore out the unfinished drawing of Darcy, crumpling it into a ball and tossing it to the side.
"God, you're a life-saver, you know that? I was about to shit in my pants I was so frustrated," He chuckled to himself, giving the girl a good once-over. He set his book down again and took a few steps towards her. "We just need to make a few adjustments." His eyes landed on the rubber bands on her wrist, and he froze for a second or two. Why were those there? Ben didn't want to see her snapping them against her skin like she used to. He wanted to believe she had truly been cured over the summer, and that her self-harming days were over...
Quickly, he snapped out of it. "Umm, we'll need to take these off because I need to practice drawing bare arms." He mumbled a bullcrap excuse, before going ahead and gently slipping the rubber bands off of her wrists, giving her a tentative look. Then he proceeded to fluff her hair a bit, making it cascade beautifully down her shoulders. It was funny how Ben could become so concentrated in artist mode. Later he would most likely regret showing off this side of him and feel embarrassed about it.
"Sammie, have I ever told you how pretty your hair was?" Ben asked after a moment. He looked into her face and wrinkled his eyebrows. "I don't think I ever noticed until just now..." He spoke rather softly as his voice trailed off.
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Post by asf! on Jan 4, 2009 18:22:34 GMT -5
i’m safe, up high, nothing can touch me. so why do i feel this party is over? [/color][/font][/size][/left] Ben’s excitement made Sammie beam. She was happy to help Ben, especially if it made his frustrations go away. He had seemed rather angry whenever Darcy stormed off. She was a ditz anyway. Sammie could be just as good of a model as she could. She nodded in agreement to Ben’s comment about her hair being like Darcy’s. “Yeah, I guess so. I’ve never really taken a good look at her until I watched you guys battle it out.” Sammie said with a smirk. “How much did you pay her anyway?” She said with a small chuckle. “Which by the way, I'm not going to let you pay me.” Sammie declared.
She couldn’t help but chuckle whenever he explained how frustrated he was. “Well that’s good. You did seem pretty mad.” Sammie grinned, still chuckling about the way he was pacing back and forth. When she watched him look at the rubber bands, she followed his eyes down to them. It was just for protection. She wasn’t going to explain that unless he asked, it would take much too long to explain.
Sammie’s eyes widened as he took the bands off of her wrist. His excuse made her laugh. “Right, bare arms. Benjamin, I know you better than that. You could have just asked me about it…” She said, shaking it off. As he fluffed her hair, she couldn’t help but smile. It was kind of cute how he switched from regular Ben to artist Ben in seconds.
Quickly realizing he had complimented her, she beamed again. “Nope, you’ve never told me.” She said, feeling rather satisfied. “But thank you.” [/blockquote]
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Post by _bjscw on Jan 8, 2009 23:42:25 GMT -5
Ben rolled his eyes to himself. "I paid Darcy twenty bucks for her to be a terrible model. What a waste of money." He mumbled, fluffing Sammie's hair just a bit more before lifting his finger to her chin and tilting it to the side. The small on his face grew.
"You're welcome," His response was quiet, and then he slowly brought his finger back down and observed her face closely. "This is going to be great, Sammie. I'm so glad you stepped in." Ben moved backwards to his own seat and grabbed his sketchbook again. He immediately began sketching light lines onto the paper, just getting down a quick outline of Sammie's figure.
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Post by asf! on Jan 10, 2009 0:23:14 GMT -5
i’m safe, up high, nothing can touch me. so why do i feel this party is over? [/color][/font][/size][/left] Sammie grinned at Ben whenever he said he was glad she stepped in. She was glad she stepped in as well; it made her forget about the numerous piles of drama on her shoulders at the moment. Sammie had hoped that maybe she’d be able to find Kyle. She had texted Dasha earlier that day to try and find out what the problem was, but she hadn’t texted her back. Sammie wasn’t the slightest bit concerned anymore. Hadn’t Kyle said he had a lot of work to catch up on? She shook it off, smirking when Ben lifted her chin. She hadn’t told him about taking Kyle back. She shuddered at the thought.
Her phone was deep in her pocket, and she could feel it vibrating, egging her to take it out. She didn’t want to piss Ben off, but what if something was wrong? She waited until the ringtone started to play Open Your Eyes by Sum 41 so she was sure it was Dasha. She wouldn’t move her head, not at all. Ben had just fixed her up, but she had to find out was going on. She reached her hand into her pocket, pulling it out slowly. She didn’t move her head an inch as she brought the cell phone in front of her face. She pressed the ‘Read’ button, her eyes scanning the text message.
"he's at the whole...insane asylum thing."
“That’s just great.” The smile that had once been on her face was now a deep frown. Her face fell immediately. She shut the phone and extended her arm out to Ben, the phone in her hand. She bit down on her bottom lip as hard as she could, the pain easing her anger. “Take it. Put it somewhere I can’t get to it.” She said softly, nodding. Sammie wasn’t so much upset that he was in the asylum, but upset that he had told her a completely different reason for his strange disappearance. All of a sudden, she went to reach for the rubber band. It wasn’t there.
Why? Why does he keep doing this to me? Why does he lie to me any chance he can get? I’ve never done anything too terrible to him. I should’ve stayed broken up with him. I should’ve listened to everybody. I should’ve known that this whole relationship was just one humungous lie. I should’ve trusted myself more than Kyle. I shouldn’t have fallen for his cute little sayings. They were always so alluring. He could always lure me into his little trap and make sure that I stayed with him. He uses me for his own selfish happiness. He’s never happy unless I’m not.
Sammie snapped out of her thoughts, taking a deep breath and placing her hand back in her lap. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to screw everything up.” [/blockquote]
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Post by _bjscw on Jan 11, 2009 12:58:22 GMT -5
Ben raised an eyebrow as he took the phone from Sammie, dying to know what the text message had said. It must have been something bad, judging from her facial expression. It took all his will not to flip the phone back open and go through her inbox. He turned the ringer on silent and stuffed it under his bag so Sammie wouldn't be tempted.
"Don't be sorry," He murmured, sitting back down and returning to his sketchbook. "I haven't even gotten to your face yet, so you're all good. Any chance you can paint that smile back on within the next few minutes, though?" Ben shot her a half-hearted grin, while he drew her hair in a bit of further depth. He had a strange feeling the text had been about Kyle. What else could stress Sammie out that easily? Ben wished he knew what was going on with them right now. He was so out of the loop sometimes.
Then again, that wasn't always a bad thing. The drama could get quite tiresome.
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Post by asf! on Jan 11, 2009 14:37:53 GMT -5
i’m safe, up high, nothing can touch me. so why do i feel this party is over? [/color][/font][/size][/left] Sammie wanted to tell Ben. She wanted to let the obvious anger out, and rip stuff to shreds. She wanted to trash the art room and then storm out, leaving the angry memory behind in the messy room. Sammie watched him turn it on silent, nodding as he did so. It was almost like he was reading her mind. If it rang she’d go crazy. Sammie wasn’t exactly the happiest camper right now, but she had to make it seem like everything was okay. It was probably obvious the way her face had fallen and everything around her seemed to have stopped. She listened intently as Ben spoke, smirking as he asked her if he could paint her smile back on.
She wanted to smile genuinely and make it seem like she was happy, but she was angry. It was more like beyond angry. Sammie was boiling, livid even. She glanced over to where he had put the phone, and began. “He’s gone.” Sammie said softly. “He’s completely gone. He went to an asylum. It’s not like he didn’t need it but he didn’t tell me. He told me he was doing a bunch of projects. He told me that he was busy. He lied… again.” Sammie mumbled, looking down at her feet. She glanced back up. “Well, onto a happier note..” She put on her smile as if nothing had happened, keeping everything bottled up inside of her. She would not lose it in the middle of the art room, in front of Ben, or in front of anybody. [/blockquote]
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Post by _bjscw on Jan 16, 2009 14:16:17 GMT -5
Ben looked at Sammie blankly, forgetting all about the sketch in his hands. So it was about Kyle. His eyes trickled down to the floor and he twiddled the pencil around in his hands, trying to come up with something to say. It hardly seemed like a bad thing that Kyle was staying in an asylum, seeing as it was very necessary in his current state. But Sammie appeared to be quite unhappy about it. That was what confused Ben. Obviously she would still care about Kyle, even after they had broken up, but why did it upset her so much now that she knew the truth about his location? Didn't she say something about moving on? Maybe Kyle was like her cocaine; maybe it was just as difficult to break free from him as it had been for Ben to stop using.
"Well, so what if he lied to you?" He asked softly, and then winced at the wording of his question. "I mean, you shouldn't be worrying about what he does so much. You're just letting him hold you back."
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Post by asf! on Jan 16, 2009 21:05:12 GMT -5
i’m safe, up high, nothing can touch me. so why do i feel this party is over? [/color][/font][/size][/left] Ben's comment took her aback. She bit down on her bottom lip, trying to think of the real reason as to why it bothered her so much. She hadn't mentioned to Ben that she was back with Kyle. She wasn't even sure if she was going to mention it. By the time Kyle came back, she'd be done with him anyway. She was sure of it. The break wasn't long enough. Sammie only took him back because it was a spur of the moment thing. She was caught up in the moment, remembering how she used to feel about him. Now she wondered if it was all fake.
"I was back with him." Sammie mumbled. She didn't want to admit it, but she did miss him. He was her boyfriend and he had been for the longest time. That didn't take all the anger away, or anything else for that matter. She still wanted to scream at him and keep getting angrier until he didn't want her anymore. She wanted to have a chance with other people. "I know he's holding me back... but Ben, he needs me. He needs me more than anything because without me, he gets like he did at the dance. I don't want him to be like that because of me. It's hardly fair! I've screwed everything up as usual. It's like the way God wants me to be. He wants me to be the fucking screw up." [/blockquote]
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Post by _bjscw on Jan 16, 2009 21:20:05 GMT -5
Ben's eyes widened when Sammie explained she was back with Kyle. What?! After that long speech she made at the dance about moving on, they were back together?! It angered Ben, but he held back from saying anything. He let her continue on as he set his sketchbook aside, listening carefully. Unfortunately, her words only upset him even more. He sighed dramatically.
"Sammie, this is probably the worst thing you can do for yourself," His tone was controlled, but he gave her a hard stare. "I mean, I know you're all concerned for Kyle and whatnot, but you can't just stay in a relationship with him because you're afraid he'll go psycho if you don't. He's already being taken care of in an asylum, there's not much more you can do." Ben stood up and took a few steps forward. "You're so afraid of hurting him, that you don't see how you're hurting yourself by going on like this."
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Post by asf! on Jan 16, 2009 21:37:03 GMT -5
i’m safe, up high, nothing can touch me. so why do i feel this party is over? [/color][/font][/size][/left] Sammie bit down on her bottom lip, her eyes following Ben as he stepped forward. She knew she had to keep Kyle safe some how. This seemed like the easiest way. She knew it was hurting her, but lately, she hadn't cared anymore. She kept all of it to herself, and never began to let her feelings out. She would be considered a baby if she did something like that. If she cried in front of people, she'd look innocent and stupid. If she cried alone, she's look like a hypocrite to herself.
She began to think out loud. "Of course when he comes back to find out that I'm moving on and that I don't want to be with him, that will only cause him to escalate. He'll keep getting worse." Sammie mumbled to herself. She stepped off of the stool, taking a few steps towards Ben as he stepped towards her. "Why can't more people be as understanding as you?" She asked both him and herself. "It's like no matter how stupid I sound - or what I do or anything... you never push me away." She said softly, her eyes locked on her feet. Sammie looked up slowly, not realizing how close she had gotten to him. They were just inches apart. [/blockquote]
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Post by _bjscw on Jan 16, 2009 22:40:01 GMT -5
Ben opened his mouth to go into another rant about how Sammie needed to put herself first instead of Kyle, when she said something about him being understanding. He was caught off guard for a second or two, his cheeks growing pink. He liked being told he was understanding. It made him feel like he was actually doing something for someone - making their life better, even if it was just by listening to them and trying to offer advice. He held his breath as Sammie got closer, his hands twitching at his sides.
"I wouldn't push you away, Sammie. You're my best friend," Ben paused, staring directly into her eyes. "I mean, with all my attitude problems and drug issues and nonsense, you stuck by me. I could never abandon you after that."
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Post by asf! on Jan 16, 2009 23:16:24 GMT -5
i’m safe, up high, nothing can touch me. so why do i feel this party is over? [/color][/font][/size][/left] A small smile played upon her lips. His words were so sincere. She never had someone tell her things like that except for Kyle, and she usually just thought it was sweet talk so that she would stay with him. Sammie looked into his eyes, searching for something to say to make this even more special. She remembered when they had dated for a few days. She remembered it all. It was one of the best few days of her life, but some of the worst at the same time.
"You know if I say someone is my everything I'm lying. Nobody really compares to you." Sammie's voice was tender and soft, something you didn't hear often. "You come first because you're the best. It's like hard to believe you've never abandoned me. I've put you through so much crap and I can get really annoying and I can ramble like no other." She stopped, shaking her head. "Speaking of rambling..." [/blockquote]
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Post by _bjscw on Jan 16, 2009 23:26:39 GMT -5
With her compliments, and her being so close to him, Ben had an strange urge to kiss her. He didn't know whether it was just some weirdo lust coming out of nowhere, or if it was something legit, but he pushed the thought from his mind. He was supposed to be keeping away from doing wrong things, and kissing someone else's girlfriend was very wrong.
"Sammie, maybe we're just such a perfect fit because we both have too many problems and ramble like idiots," He joked, giving her a tiny smile. Then he leaned forward to pull her into a tight hug, hoping it would force him to stop staring at her lips in such a desirable way. "I just want you to stop trying to protect Kyle so much. You need to protect yourself, first."
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