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Post by {Kyle-Dasha} on Dec 14, 2008 20:44:44 GMT -5
Dasha had changed over the summer. Not only had she grown a bit taller but she had also grown a bit…different. She wasn’t as hyper as she used to be and she spent even more time daydreaming. She could lock herself in a room and write for hours, which she normally did. She listened to music more then anything else, it was now more of an obsession then a hobby. Yet, many things stayed the same. She still loved to laugh and she still loved to go down by the lake and just sit there. She had big retro headphones fitted over her ears as she made her way down to the water. What’s it Feel Like to be a Ghost? by Taking Back Sunday was blasting in her headphones. She wore worn blue jeans and her shirt was a pale gray with swirls of different colors. She sat down and stared at the water as it reflected the stares and the moon. She sighed a bit. She leaned back and sang softly: “Dragged you out, into the streets, before you buckle at your knees.” But that was all.
Suddenly she had a strange urge. She quickly put her iPod and headphones down and quickly took off her socks and shoe. She then ran toward the lake, closed her eyes, and jumped in. The cold water shocked her to the bone and she almost screamed underwater. She resurfaced and pushed back her hair. She shivered in the water but didn’t get out. The cold water…it felt good. It was like a wake up call that shocked her out of bed. She felt wide-awake and so completely…alive! She felt like she could jump up and touch the stars, like she could run for hours and hours and never get tired.
Then the cold started to seep through her clothes and skin and she didn’t feel alive…she just felt numb. She sighed a bit and climbed out and lay on the warm grass. She sighed a bit and pulled the headphones back onto her ears, not caring that she was getting them wet. She softly pressed the play button and let the music wash over her like the warm summer air. |
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Post by _bjscw on Dec 14, 2008 21:42:44 GMT -5
Ben Roberts didn't need music to make him feel inspired on a warm evening like this. Being back in California made him feel better than he had ever felt, especially after the rough summer he endured. The fact that drawing had recently taken over his life made him notice the smaller details and bits of scenery that he overlooked in his previous years at the school. His first day back was spent roaming around campus and looking for new settings to sketch on paper.
It was only a matter of time before the boy found himself at the lake. This was one of the places that he spent most of his life at during his school years, and now there was no stopping him from recreating it with a pencil. Ben strolled through the grass and inhaled the summer air, before his eyes landed on a familiar figure lying in the grass. He took a moment to look closer, only to realize that the stranger was Dasha.
A strange bout of emotions flooded through Ben now, similar to the ones he felt upon first returning to Stewart earlier in the day. Seeing someone he recognized made him all the more happier, even if it was just Dasha, a girl who he didn't exactly have the best past with. Ben hesitated, before moving closer. Of course, she had earphones covering her ears as usual, so he spoke loudly:
"Dasha?"
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Post by {Kyle-Dasha} on Dec 14, 2008 23:03:25 GMT -5
She was surprised, but in a way not surprised to hear a voice say her name. She was even less surprised to see a blond head. She studied him for a moment before deciding he was Ben. She smirked a bit and pulled down her headphones around her neck. “Hey Ben.” She smiled. “Oh how I’ve missed your wit…except not.” She chuckled a bit. In a way, she had missed Ben, she had missed everyone. Coming back to school had been strange but in a way…good. She pushed some of the wet hair out of her eyes once again. She was kind of glad that she wasn’t wearing a white t-shirt though. That…that could have been awkward.
“I wonder why we keep meeting at the lake.” She shrugged a bit.” So…erm…how are you?” She tilted her head a bit, like she wasn’t used to acting civil around him. Which she wasn’t. She then noticed something strange. Ben had paper with him and a pencil. What was he doing with that? She reached out but then pulled back quickly, her hand was still dripping with water and she didn’t want to ruin whatever the paper had on it.
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Post by _bjscw on Dec 14, 2008 23:19:19 GMT -5
Ben stared down at her in awe. The strange emotions were still surfacing through him, although he knew they'd fade with a few minutes. He immediately pulled his sketchbook to his chest when Dasha reached out, afraid she was going to attempt to look through it or something. He still wasn't at the point where he felt comfortable sharing his drawings.
"I'm fine," He spoke with a heavy tone, trying to ease into some sort of comfort zone. The last real social contact he experienced had been ages ago, so it was like he was starting all over again. "Nothing new has happened lately." Lie. He winced. "How about you?" Ben stood rooted to the spot.
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Post by {Kyle-Dasha} on Dec 17, 2008 16:55:45 GMT -5
Dasha simply raised an eyebrow as he stared at her. That was…interesting. “Ben…are you alright?” She tilted her head a bit. All day people had been asking her that question. They would run up to her and hug her and squeal and she would just stand there and wince. She has lost a bit of her hyper active-ness and honestly it didn’t feel like she had been gone. It was almost like she had just seen them yesterday.
She shrugged a bit. “You know, you can sit down…” She noted and smirked. She sighed. “Mmm, I’m not sure if anything has happened with me. I don’t think so but people keep telling me something must of happened since I guess I changed.” She lay back on the grass. “Did you change?”
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Post by _bjscw on Dec 17, 2008 20:07:12 GMT -5
"Of course I am, why would I not be?" Ben responded almost too quickly, and he bit his tongue. He supposed Dasha would think there was something wrong with the way he was acting. After a hesitant pause, he seated himself on a patch of grass beside the girl.
He wasn't able to tell whether Dasha had made a drastic change in her personality yet, although he did notice she was little bit less hostile towards him than she used to be. This was a good thing, and a bad thing at the same time. He did kind of miss arguing with her... after all, he used to consider it kind of fun. But it was probably for the better that they not be bickering constantly.
Ben thought about her question before delivering his answer. "Yeah... I think I have changed," He murmured, glancing at her shyly, "I really don't think I'm the same guy I used to be." He shrugged.
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Post by {Kyle-Dasha} on Dec 17, 2008 20:55:32 GMT -5
Dasha laughed softly and made a check on an imaginary check on an imaginary clipboard. “Denial, the first sign that something is completely and defiantly wrong.” She shrugged. “But hey, I’m not your friend so why the hell would you tell me anyway?” She said, with just a sense of bitterness. It was true, they had never really been friends and Dasha wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad thing. They had always had their moments but it was always…interesting.
Dasha tilted her head a bit. “You changed too? Well welcome to the club.” She smiled a bit at him. “Drat, we won’t be able to argue anymore.” She smirked. “So why did you change?” Honestly, she didn’t care if her answered or not. Suddenly she sat up. “Ben? Am I your friend?” She asked suddenly. She knew what she thought of him, but she suddenly wanted to know the other way around. It was strange how they had their off beat moments and she wanted to know.
((It's like crap times like....a billion to the power of a billion))
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Post by _bjscw on Dec 18, 2008 23:07:32 GMT -5
Ben chuckled to himself. Perhaps it was denial - he wasn't even sure about it himself, whether he was okay or not. He felt alright... but that was just right now. Other times he might experience a depressing feeling in the pit of his stomach, especially when he thought about how much he wanted to get high. So maybe he could claim he was fine for the moment, but saying he was 100% good? That would be a lie.
"I don't know why I changed. I guess I just sort of... did." Another untruth - he really needed to stop that. Ben shook his head to himself, still fidgeting with the sketchbook in his hands, before Dasha asked her question. He lifted his face and examined her for a moment, completely silent.
"Maybe," His voice was much quieter now, "I suppose. Just a very different type of friend, compared to all of my other ones." If they're even my friends anymore.
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Post by {Kyle-Dasha} on Dec 20, 2008 15:17:07 GMT -5
She smirked a bit then laughed. “Same here. Everyone keeps asking how I changed or why. I don’t know. It just freaking happened.” One day she had just started daydreaming more then normal. The next day she hadn’t wanted to stop. She had closed herself up into her little world and slowly drained out everything else. Sometimes she would be social but other times she would just lock herself away.
She watched him examine her then shook her head. “I don’t think I am your friend. If I were your friend I would know why you changed.” She had never truly known about the drugs or the lies…she wasn’t close to Ben in that way. Honestly, she had no idea what had happened to anyone except Kyle, and that’s just because they had spent the summer together. She gave him one last look. “And if you were my friend…you’d stop lying to me.” She hadn’t picked up on every lie but was starting to notice. “I don’t mind…I just wanted to know what you think.” She looked up at the sky. A small gust of wind pushed her wet hair into her eyes.
“Remember how we met?” For some reason she couldn’t help the nostalgia that washed over her. This was Ben…she could act stupid and she didn’t care. In a way she was comfortable around him. He teased her and mocked her sometimes…but then there were moments when he didn’t and when they could just talk.
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Post by _bjscw on Dec 20, 2008 15:36:19 GMT -5
Ben shook his head. "Sammie's my friend, but she doesn't fully know why I've changed." He explained. "Jeremy's my friend too. I suppose he knows why I've changed, but I don't think he understands it." Alright, so he was now revealing that there was a particular reason for his change. But as Dasha spoke again, it was pretty obvious that she knew he was lying. No point in trying to cover it up then, huh?
"My point is, you don't have to know me that much to be my friend. A lot of people who are close to me still don't know a lot of stuff." Ben finished, and dropped his eyes to the grass when Dasha inquired about the time they met. He crinkled his eyebrows in attempt to remember.
"I don't know... wasn't it at the welcoming dance or something? And then I danced with some girl and people got mad at me and it was really weird..."
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Post by {Kyle-Dasha} on Dec 20, 2008 16:08:38 GMT -5
Dasha looked up. “Ooo, so there is a reason. It’s alright. You don’t have to tell me. For me? Honestly I don’t think there is a reason. Maybe there is and I just don’t understand it. I kind of feel like I’m in a paradox. It’s confusing and makes my head hurt.” She sighed a bit. “And yes, I do get your point. I mean I think I know myself pretty well, but I don't understand why I changed. Do you get my point?” She shrugged a bit and then looked over at his sketch book.
“So what is that?” She asked.
Dasha tilted her head. “Seriously? I thought we meet at a soccer field. Maybe I just have a bad memory. Wait…I KNOW I have a bed memory.” She laughed a little. “Either way…isn’t it weird? I think it is.” She was so confused, even at the own words coming out of her mouth.
((And crap.))
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Post by _bjscw on Dec 20, 2008 19:58:59 GMT -5
Ben looked down at his sketchbook, wishing she hadn't drawn any attention to it. His art was becoming a very personal thing to him, and it felt weird talking to people about it. "It's nothing," He murmured, and then winced. Dasha could tell he was lying. "I mean, it's a drawing book. But I just doodle in it when I'm bored, it's not very important." Well, half of the truth was better than nothing.
"I think we met briefly at the school dance, but not officially or anything. I do remember a soccer field though. And you being rather snappy with me." Ben smiled a little.
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Post by {Kyle-Dasha} on Dec 21, 2008 22:30:10 GMT -5
“Oh, really? Nothing?” She fixed him with a stare but then smiled. “Can I see it? I am cursed with the ability to mess up a stick figure. It’s quite incredible actually.” Then she shook her head. “If it’s not important then why did you bring it all the way to the lake? You have a terrible lying habit don’t you?” She smirked a bit.
She then laughed. “I’m always snappy with you. Still, don’t know why I’m feeling this way. I guess it’s just kind of fun to look back on last year. So much happened then.” Of course, nothing happened to HER but things happened to other people and that was always interesting to watch.
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Post by _bjscw on Dec 22, 2008 16:04:37 GMT -5
He was grinning now. "Yeah, I suppose I do have a terrible lying habit." His arms held the sketchbook tighter to his chest now. "Alright, so it's slightly important. I haven't showed anybody either. I don't think I'm very good yet." Ben's voice had now lowered to a murmur, and his smile was fading. The last thing he wanted to do was show Dasha his art. After all, he didn't know if he could trust her. Their 'friendship' was so rocky it was hard to tell what would happen between them next.
Ben looked away towards the lake as she spoke about last year. His spirits were brought down every time someone mentioned it. He hated who he was back then, and his biggest fear was the idea of him becoming that person again. "Yeah. So much happened." He said in a trance-like tone.
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Post by {Kyle-Dasha} on Dec 23, 2008 16:38:43 GMT -5
Dasha shrugged. “Meh, I guess it happened in bouts.” She rolled her eyes. “So fucking what if you’re good or not? I suck at singing. I love to sing. I suck at acting. I love to act. I suck at writing but I LOVE to write. It shouldn’t matter if you’re good at something it matters if you’re passionate or not.” She watched as him clutch it. “I mean, you don’t have to show it to me. But I just want you to know: I wouldn’t judge you on it.” Then she paused. “Well maybe just a little, but it’s your secret.” She lay back on the grass.
She turned and looked at him. His face seemed stoic as he looked at the lake, like he was recalling something he didn’t want to think about. She turned to the lake as well. “Yet, there’s so much that hasn’t happened yet.” She smiled a bit.
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